Jealous

I suppose this topic kind of goes along with my last post about self image.  Some days I feel like I'm overcoming the issues I have with myself, but others I feel like I regress.  What triggers the regression?  One of my main problems, I've realized, is jealousy and I honestly am slightly disgusted with myself for feeling this way.

Just earlier this evening, I had a spat with the person I love and it was because I had a jealous moment about him being friends with a girl.  Usually I'm fine with him having friends that are girls as I have friends that are guys.  Sometimes, though, a nerve is struck and something clicks in my head, telling me that no, that's not okay.  I then begin to judge said person despite the fact I have never met her and a fight with the significant other soon ensues.  It's not everyday that this kind of thing happens; only sometimes.  Either way, it's a sign of weakness. 

The past few days, I've been feeling really bad about my body image.  I feel like I've gained some weight that I had lost and that has had me slightly bummed out.  I've been trying to focus on other things to keep my mind off of feeling down about such a silly reason, but when I was talking to my boyfriend and he mentioned one particular person, all hell broke lose and I lost it.  My weak mental state had me harboring all of these ridiculous thoughts and creating reasons as to why I shouldn't like this person.  Silly, right?  Downright crazy, actually.  But after tonight, I think I have finally figured out where my jealous tendencies come from and it's from a lack of self confidence, which is a bit funny since in my last post I touted how I was becoming more confident in myself.  I guess practicing what you preach isn't as easy as it sounds.

It's all a work in progress.  It's all about changing the state of how the mind thinks.  And as someone once told me, it's about making other girls jealous of you.  We'll see about that.

(I want to give a special mention to my boyfriend for sticking by my side and dealing with my craziness by being so understanding and reassuring me when I need it.  I couldn't ask for anything more.)