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How is it that I can reassure one of my friends that they look fine in every way, but then turn around and be completely disgusted with how I look?  How is it that I can reassure someone that their problems are normal, but my own similar problems make me feel like I'm completely crazy?

I can accept others and the way they are, but I cannot seem to accept myself. 

I've never had the best self esteem, which I guess started in high school.  Big surprise there, right?  I don't know if it began because of depression, but I know that it's always been a contributing factor

So what is it exactly that I don't like about myself?  Well, there are a number of things.  I have no hips and a slightly chubby tummy.  My thighs are kind of thunderous and my skin is too pale.  As for my face, my cheeks are always way too rosy and my forehead always gets grossly dry.  My eyes are a boring brown color, as is my hair, which also happens to be very fine and limp.  Add bipolar, anxiety, depression, and paranoia to this mix and voila!  Out comes a hot mess.

And a hot mess I am no longer going to be.

Learning to accept my flaws and even embrace them is something that I'm finding to be necessary in my journey.  If I can't love myself, how can I love anyone else?  I feel like such a hypocrite giving advice to others if I cannot do the same for my own being, so something needs to change.  I think, deep down, I still focus a little too much about what others think.  I highly doubt that, when I walk into a room, someone thinks, "Oh my god the skin on that girl's forehead is way too pale and dry!"  Yeah, pretty certain no one has ever had this thought about anyone, ever. 

So now comes the acceptance part.  My stomach might be a bit flabby, but at least I'm healthy.  I might not have hips, but I have gorgeous tattoos that surround them.  And my thighs are strong, not just fat.  I have nice cheekbones under the redness and I can always just use lotion on my dry skin.  The paleness I kind of have to deal with since I don't tan very easily, but at least I don't burn easily, either.  My eyes sometimes turn green in the sun, so I guess that's kind of neat.  I can always add color to my hair if need be, and I'm rather lucky in the sense that I don't have to straighten my hair everyday.  And as far as my mental problems go, well, they make me a lot less boring.

Well, I guess things really aren't as bad as they seem.  This goes for everyone.  It might be hard sometimes, but putting a little positive perspective on the seemingly awful can go a long way.  Besides, it's our flaws that make us who we are.  Everyone would be incredibly dull without them, and really, who wants that?  There's nothing wrong with being a little more interesting.